I contemplate in silence how today could have been much worse,
An accident almost caught up with me,
A disaster awaited but nothing really came of it,

I contemplate in silence how these words should mean much more than empty phrases,
That they should resonate with someone else's soul and have meaning years to come when they remember the taste of each word.

I contemplate in silence how all this pain is choking me to a halt,
To a fucking standstill
Where my arms wish to stretch out and reach and my legs linger that toes twitch but here I stand wishfully dreaming to live.

I contemplate in silence of tears of joy that were once had,
A story told not too long ago,
But I lost it all and it sits here under the smell of cigarettes and alcohol

I contemplate in silence about my fear of silence,
Of being alone,
Of being someone I am not.

I contemplate in silence about darkness,
And it is fucking dark in here,
Yet here you are just waiting for my hand so we can leave

~a b b y